Funny Sarcasm Quotes For That Epic Comeback This 2021

Funny Sarcasm Quotes For That Epic Comeback This 2021 – They believe sarcasm demonstrates weakness, but who cares what they think?! While some may consider that sarcasm is a slippery slope, others believe that it is a sign of intelligence. Oscar Wilde, after all, said, “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but the finest form of intellect.”

So in this article, we have collected the Funny Sarcasm Quotes For That Epic Comeback This 2021. This article consists sarcasm quotes like funny sarcasm quotes, sarcasm quotes about life, sarcasm life quotes, sarcasm quotes about love, sarcasm quotes on life, sarcasm humor quotes, sarcasm quotes on friendship, sarcasm quotes for friends, and sarcasm witty quotes.

These sarcasm quotes will surely give you a laugh! But tread carefully—on the opposite end of the spectrum, many therapists caution that sarcasm may seriously harm relationships. So, while stretching our sarcastic muscles may be beneficial to our future creative endeavors and IQs, using too much sarcasm may get you in trouble with your loved ones.

What are Quotes?

Quotes are a group of words taken from a text or speech that are repeated or copied out, usually with a disclaimer that the author or speaker is not the original.

The Best Sarcasm Quotes This 2021

So here are the best sarcasm quotes you can try!

1. “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”

2. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”

3. “Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.”

4. “I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?

5. “Find your patience before I lose mine.”

6. “It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.”

7. “Do you think God gets stoned? I think so… look at the platypus.” Robin Williams, Actor

8. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” Steven Wright

9. “If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me.”

10. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.”

11. “I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.”

12. “Life’s good, you should get one.”

13. “Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.”

14. “I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.”

15. “If had a dollar for every smart thing you say. I’ll be poor.”

16. “I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.”

17. “No, you don’t have to repeat yourself. I was ignoring you the first time.”

18. “Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.”

19. “Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.”

20. “You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the South? Nothing! Someone’s losing a trailer, number one.” Robin Williams, Actor

21. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”

22. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.”

23. “Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.”

24. “If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”

25. “People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.”

Other Funny Sarcasm Quotes This 2021

Also, here are some funny sarcasm quotes you can try.

26. “I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”

27. “Sarcasm–the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”

28. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”

29. “My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.”

30. “Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty.”

31. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” Ashleigh Brilliant

32. “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”

33. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” Robin Williams, Actor

34. “My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.”

35. “I would like to apologize to anyone I have not offended yet. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly.”

36. “When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like ‘East.’”

37. “Sometimes the amount of self-control it takes to not say what’s on my mind is so immense, I need a nap afterward.”

38. “The stuff you heard about me is a lie. I’m way worse.”

39. “Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.”

40. “Sometimes I wish I were a nicer person, but then I laugh and continue my day.”

41. “I’ve birthed an entire baby in less time than it takes my husband to poop.”

42. “Right before I die I’m going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting.”

43. ““If you’re waiting for me to give a crap, you better pack a lunch. It’s going to be while.”

44. “Marriage. Because your crappy day doesn’t have to end at work.”

45. “Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so I could slap eight people at once.”

46. “How much better would it be if a liar’s pants really did catch on fire?”

47. “What doesn’t kill you gives you a set of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humor.”

48. “You’d be in good shape… if you ran as much as your mouth.”

49. “Fun fact: Alcohol increases the size of the ‘send’ button by 89%.”

50. “I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I go normal from time to time.”

Funny Sarcasm Witty Quotes

Here are some witty sarcasm witty quotes.

51. “I don’t keep secrets, I just keep people out of my business.”

52. “Be the reason someone smiles today… Or the reason someone drinks. Whatever works.”

53. “I don’t have a welcome mat at my door because I’m not a liar.”

54. “Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.”

55. “I’ll get over it. I just need to be dramatic first.”

56. “Lead me not into temptation. I know the way.”

57. “Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throwing ANYTHING away EVER. I snuggle out broken crayons like a Mexican druglord.”

58. “Sorry for being late. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.”

59. “Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.”

60. “My silence doesn’t mean I agree with you. It’s just that your level of ignorance has rendered me speechless.”

61. “You’re everything I want in someone I don’t want anymore.”

62. “If they act like they can live without you… Help them do it.”

63. “Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.”

64. “Sometimes I meet people and feel bad for their dog.”

65. “Sure I’ll help you out… the same way you came in.”

66. “You play the victim. I’ll play the disinterested bystander.”

67. “Never mistake my silence for weakness. Nobody plans a murder out loud.”

68. “My neighbors listen to good music whether they like it or not.”

69. “Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.”

70. “I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane.”

71. “I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.”

72. “I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently ‘a way out’ wasn’t the right answer.”

73. “Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.”

74. “Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.”

75. “My boss said I intimidate my co-workers. I stared at him until he apologized.”

Sarcasm Humor Quotes

76. “Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.”

77. “It’s amazing how clean my house can get when I’m pissed off.”

78. “Instead of ‘single’ as a marital status they should have ‘independently owned and operated.’”

79. “I don’t fall asleep. I overthink myself into a coma.”

80. “If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.”

81. “Instead of ‘have a nice day,’ I think I’ll start saying, ‘have the day you deserve.’ You know, let karma sort things out.”

82. “My favorite party trick is not going.”

83. “The older I get the less surprised I think I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.”

84. “I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”

85. “Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!” Groucho Marx

86. “Why do we spend so much time looking for intelligent life on other planets? I’d be happy to find intelligent life here on Earth first.”

87. “Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”

88. “People think I go out of my way to piss them off. Trust me, it’s not out of my way at all.”

89. “So many people worry about their physical appearance and material possessions, that they completely disregard their crappy personality.”

90. “Think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care!”

91. “Some people really suck. Avoid them.”

92. “Sorry… to have met you.”

93. “If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on this planet.”

94. “Back in my day, people used to take photos with other people in them.”

95. “My friends are so much cooler than yours. They’re invisible.”

96. “My circle is so small, I almost cut myself off.”

97. “There’s no reason to tailgate me when I’m doing 50 in a 35. And those flashing lights on top of your car look ridiculous.”

98. “During labor, the pain is so great that a woman can almost imagine what a man feels like when he has a fever.”

99. “You’re giving me the silent treatment? Finally.”

100. “Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.” Cecilia Egan

101. “I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my key, pen, cell phone, temper, and even my mind.”

102. “Yeah, I’m a pacifist. I’m about to pass a fist across your face.”

103. “If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.”

104. “Autocorrect still thinks I want to say ‘duck’ 12 times a day.”

105. “If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever.”

Sarcasm Quotes for Friends

106. “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” Joan Crawford

107. “Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.” Gene Perret

108. “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”Groucho Marx

109. “I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.” Oscar Wilde

110. “When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.” Sacha Guitry

111. “Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?”

112. “There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.” Will Rogers

113. “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” Erma Bombeck

114. “This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic.” Lorrie Moore

115. “Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.” Steven Wright

116. “I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.” Sarah Rees Brennan

117. “Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.” P. J. O’Rourke

118. “If life gives you lemons, then be thankful for it. I have been getting only the peels for as long as I can remember!”

119. “I don’t know how people can fake whole relationships. I can’t even fake a hello to somebody I don’t like.”

120. “Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.” Groucho Marx

121. “The whiskey tastes like I’m about to tell you how I really feel.”

122. “I became insane with long periods intervals of horrible sanity.” Edgar Allen Poe, Writer

123. “I either have my hair and makeup done or look homeless. There is no in between.”

124. “Didn’t sleep much but I did get a solid few hours of worrying done.”

125. “We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.”Henny Youngman

126. “I never knew what real happiness until I got married. And by then it was too late.” Max Kauffmann

127. “No, no, no. I’m not insulting you. I’m just describing you.”

128. “Your fervent, misguided sense of entitlement is stunning.”

129. “I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.”

130. “You’re not that lucky and I’m not that desperate!” Anonymous

131. “You suck. You should fix that.”

132. “The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.” Natalie Wood, Actress

133. “Sweating while you shop counts as exercise.”

134. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” Groucho Marx

135. “My tolerance for idiots is extremely low today. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there is a new strain out there.”

136. “Understimate me. That will be fun.”

137. “If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, then don’t ask a stupid question.”

138. “I love being me. It pisses off all the right people.”

139. “When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in peoples’ eyes.”

140. “If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.” Lawrence Ferlinghetti

141. “Apparently rock bottom has a basement.”

142. “Someday, you’ll go far. I hope you stay there.”

143. “Marriage is a bliss for people who aren’t in it.”

145. “I always carry a knife in my purse. You know, in case of a cheesecake or something.”

146. “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.”

147. “I’m not always rude and sarcastic. Sometimes I’m asleep.”

148. “My alone time is sometimes for your safety.”

149. “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”

150. “It’s ok if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right.”

151. “People need to start appreciating the effort I put in to not be a serial killer.”

152. “You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now.”

153. “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”

154. “Oops! Did I just roll my eyes out loud?”

155. “I need to teach my facial expressions how to use inside their voice.”

156. “Have some fun with your life. Call in sick to places you don’t even work at.”

157. “I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” Sir Winston Churchill

158. “Tuesday is Monday’s ugly sister.”

159. “If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, it’s because you’re both heading in the same direction.” Anonymous

160. “My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks.”

161. “There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.” James Holt McGavran

162. “My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.”

163. “After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF.”

164. “Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”

165. “I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” Patrick Murray

166. “I’m starting to think my purpose in life is to serve as a cautionary tale to others.”

167. “This place is so weird that the cockroaches have moved next door.” Anonymous

168. “I’m actually not funny, I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.”

169. “What’s a queen without her king? Well, historically speaking, more powerful.”

170. “Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.” Joey Adams

171. “There’s someone for everyone and that person for you is a psychiatrist.”

172. “I like sleeping because it’s like being dead without the commitment.”

173. “Not a single one of my multiple personalities like you.”

174. “I’ll always cherish the original misconception I had of you.” Anonymous

175. “If someone asks, ‘Are you crazy?’ Simply reply, ‘Yes.’ Boom. End of discussion.”

176. “Patience: What you have when there are too many witnesses.”

177. “I’m sorry, I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.”

178. “Don’t confuse a smile with someone baring teeth.”

179. “I love deadlines, I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”Anonymous

180. “We all know someone who speaks fluent crap.”

181. “Be happy. It drives people crazy.”

182. “They say ignorance is bliss but I find yours rather disturbing.”

183. “Sometimes the first step toward forgiveness is realizing the other person was born an idiot.”

184. “Being an adult is looking both ways before you cross the street and getting hit by an airplane.”

185. “You can be whatever you want; however, in your case you should probably aim low.”Anonymous

186. “I am not lazy. I am on energy saving mode.”

187. “It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.” Anonymous

188. “I am currently under construction. Thank you for your patience.”

189. “Whenever I go running, I meet new people… like paramedics.”

190. “I lost your number. I lost it when I hit ‘delete.’”

191. “For Halloween, I’m going to be emotionally stable. No one is going to know it’s me.”

192. “Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!” Robin Williams, Actor

193. “I wish more people were fluent in silence.”

194. “I found your nose. It was in my business.”

195. “Life is like a roller coaster, and I’m about to throw up.” Anonymous

196. “Life is full of disappointments and I just added you to the list.”

197. “I’m not a hot mess. I’m a spicy disaster.”

198. “They say good things take time… That’s why I’m always late.”

199. “Why would someone who has an average life expectancy of 75 years, get married when he is 29?” Anonymous

200. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” Drew Carey, Comedian

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Funny Sarcasm Quotes For That Epic Comeback This 2021