75+ Funny Quotes For Different Occasions for 2021

Funny Quotes For Different Occasions 2021

Funny Quotes For Different Occasions – There are instances when funny quotes provide amusement. If you are going through a difficult time, these sayings might make you laugh out loud. It may be brief and straightforward, but it has the potential to be quite effective. What’s more, it won’t take up all of your time.

So in this article, we collected a large collection of Funny Quotes For Different Occasions. Even with a brief reading, you will be able to feel happy, which is the normal impact of hilarious tagalog quotes. It’s hardly surprising that more and more people are searching for them on the internet.

Aside from this funny tagalog quotes for different occasions, it also includes morning inspirational quotes about life.

What are Quotes?

Quotes are a group of words taken from a text or speech that are repeated or copied out, usually with a disclaimer that the author or speaker is not the original.

Funny Quotes for Birthdays

Here are the funniest birthday quotes you will read!

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. Francis Bacon

You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope

After 30, a body has a mind of its own. Bette Midler

Live your life and forget your age. Norman Vincent Peale

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive, it isn’t. Richard Bach

We don’t grow old. When we cease to grow, we become old. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you. Ogden Nash

The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it. Doris Day

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it. Golda Meir

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. Woody Allen

Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed. Charles Schulz

Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. Will Rogers

Today is the oldest you have been, and the youngest you will ever be. Make the most of it! Nicky Gumbel

We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary. C. S. Lewis

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. Lucille Ball

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Mark Twain

It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle. Author Unknown

This birthday when someone refers to your many years, you can just tell them you are now a classic, and classics are priceless. Catherine Pulsifer

Don’t regret another birthday, the good news is that you are alive and can celebrate it. Catherine Pulsifer

Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine! Kate Summers

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. C.E.M. Joad

Don’t just count your years, make your years count. George Meredith

The good thing about getting older is if you don’t want to do something you can say, I’m too old to do that! Kate Summers

You’re not as young as you used to be. But you’re not as old as you’re going to be. Irish Saying

As you get older, though, you realize there are fire extinguishers. You do have an ability to control the flames. Chaka Khan

You’re in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday Catherine Pulsifer

It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen. Brigitte Bardot

Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world. Jarod Kintz

It’s better to be over the hill than under it. Saying

Age may wrinkle the face, but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Danish Proverb

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Funny Quotes About Marriage

Also, here are the funniest quotes about marriage you will read!

“One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. When he enters my bathroom sometimes I’m like, ‘Why are you in here?’ And he’s like, ‘I live here. Can I enjoy my bathroom too?’” —Michelle Obama

“Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun.” —Stephanie Ortiz

“Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.” —H. Jackson Brown, Jr

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” —Rita Rudner

“You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!” —Bill Maher

“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” —Benjamin Franklin

“I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed, too—for being married so many times.” —Elizabeth Taylor

“Who won in life? Me. Because I got to marry you.” —Chip Gaines

“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” —Prince Philip

“Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell

“A man’s main job is to protect his woman from her desire to ‘get bangs’ every other month.” —Dax Shepard

“Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.” —Megan Mullally

“People say, ‘Jeez, it must be hard to stay married in show business.’ I think it’s hard to stay married anywhere, but if you marry the right person, it might work out.” —Tom Hanks

“Make sure you have date night even if it’s once in a blue moon because most of the time you’re just too tired and you’d actually prefer to sleep.” —Chris Hemsworth

“I married for love, but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored.” —Cameron Esposito

“I don’t want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad, and if either watches it without the other, they’re dead meat.” ―Mindy Kaling

“You go, ‘You make me laugh, you make me smile, you make me feel loved, you make me food.'” —Nikki Glaser recalling Amy Schumer’s wedding vows

“I’m just a diaper-changing facility hooked up to a life-support system, but my wife, she’s breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She’s a human Denny’s all day long … and it never ends for her. She’s the most beautiful Denny’s you’ve ever seen though, I guarantee it.” —Ryan Reynolds

“Because I always say, if you’re married for 50 years, and 10 of them are horrible, you’re doing really good!” —Michelle Obama

“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you will be happy. If you get a bad one, you will be a philosopher.” —Socrates

“We have a couple of rules in our relationship. The first rule is that I make her feel like she’s getting everything. The second rule is that I actually do let her have her way in everything. And, so far, it’s working.” —Justin Timberlake

“I’d like to publicly thank my husband [Dax Shepard] for changing half the diapers in our house. I hope he changes all of mine one day…” —Kristen Bell

“Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.” —George Bernard Shaw

“Being a good husband is like being a standup comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.” — Jerry Seinfeld

“Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.” —Mickey Rooney

“After about 15 years I finally figured out that she’s always right. So surprisingly we just stopped fighting after that.” —Barack Obama

“Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three meals a day and remembering to carry the trash out.” —Joyce Brothers

“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” —Anne Bancroft

“My wife and I have been married for 21 years, and without a doubt, the hardest times we’ve faced were those times when we hated each other.” —Andy Richter

“My wife didn’t take my name, which isn’t weird, but what’s weird is when people think it’s weird, like we’re on a first-name basis anyway.” —Mark Agee

“We just like each other. You start there. … I still can’t believe my wife goes out with me. If we were in high school and I was just funny, I’d never have the courage to talk to her.” —Tom Hanks

“Love, gratitude, compassion, because sometimes every man or every woman will drive their partner crazy.” —Goldie Hawn

“Marriage is like a graph—it has its ups and downs, and as long as things bounce back up again, you’ve got a good marriage. If it heads straight down, then you’ve got some problems!” —Dame Julie Andrews

“A man doesn’t know what happiness is until he’s married. By then it’s too late.” —Frank Sinatra

“Our marriage was the most difficult, grueling, excruciating thing that we have ever taken on in our lives. And you know, we’re just not quitters.” —Will Smith

“There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” —Chris Rock

“My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me.” —Winston Churchill

“Michelle’s like Beyoncé in that song, ‘Let me upgrade ya!’ She upgraded me.” —Barack Obama

“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” —Erma Bombeck

“Only married people can understand how you can be miserable and happy at the same time.” —Chris Rock

“We were married for better or worse. I couldn’t have done better and she couldn’t have done worse.” —Henry Youngman

“Just found out the wife is writing a book about our honeymoon, called 50 Shades of Just O.K.” —Conan O’Brien

“Fck it…that’s really the attitude that keeps a family together. It’s not ‘We love each other.’ It’s just ‘fck it, man.'” —Louis C.K.

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Funny Quotes About Lockdown

Here are funny quotes when the lockdown started.

1. “2020 is a unique Leap Year. It has 29 days in February, 300 days in March, and five years in April.” —Unknown

2. “2020 is every Nic Cage movie without Nic Cage.” —Dad That Writes

3. “COVID spelled backward is DIVOC. What DIVOC is up with 2020?” —The Super Mom Life

4. “Day 7 of social distancing: Struck up a conversation with a spider today. Seems nice. He’s a web designer.” —Unknown

5. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.” —Bette Reese

6. “My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.” —Unknown

7. “First time in history we can save the human race by laying in front of the TV and doing nothing. Let’s not screw this up.” —Unknown

8. “If you had asked me what the hardest part of battling a global pandemic would be, I would have never guessed ‘teaching elementary school math.’” —Simon Holland

9. “The only thing I gained in 2020 was weight.” —Unknown

10. “If 2020 was a person, it would be Janice from Friends.” —The Mother Octopus

11. “So far, 2020 is like looking both ways before you cross the street then getting hit by an airplane.” —Unknown

12. “‘I’m not working out with a mask on’ is my new favorite excuse for not working out.” —The Cat Whisperer

13. “2020: Year of the oof.” —Unknown

14. “All the kids who were taught common core math are about to learn ‘carry the one’ from their new homeschool teacher.” —The Super Mom Life

15. “Coronavirus has turned us all into dogs: We roam the house looking for food, we’re told ‘no’ if we get too close to strangers, and we get really excited about car rides and walks.” —Unknown

16. “After all the stupid things I’ve done in my life, if I die because I touched my face, I’m gonna be pissed.” —Unknown

17. “‘He chewed too loud’ became the number one cause of divorce.” —Unknown

18. “Due to quarantine, I’ll only be telling inside jokes.” —Dad Says Jokes

19. “If someone offers you cash from a van and tells you it’s your stimulus check, you can take it, but just know it’s not the type of stimulus check you think it is.” —Unknown

20. “Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that’s good.” —Elizabeth Edwards

21. “Welcome to homeschooling. Your home has 847 pencils in it, yet your child can never find one.” —Copy Mama

22. “Look, 2020, I just think I should start seeing other years.” —Unknown

23. “I’m not saying I’m going to suck at homeschooling my kids but my daughter just asked, ‘Dad, what’s a synonym?’ And I replied, ‘It’s a spice.’” —Joe Heenan

24. “Based on 2020 thus far, I’m expecting the flying monkeys from Wizard of Oz to show up any time now.” —Unknown

25. “Not to brag, but I’ve been avoiding people since way before COVID ever showed up.” —The Super Mom Life

Morning Inspirational Quotes About Life

Lastly, here are morning inspirational quotes about life.

1. “Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

2. “I get up every morning and it’s going to be a great day. You never know when it’s going to be over, so I refuse to have a bad day.” – Paul Henderson

3. “Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees, and then kindness.” – Nanea Hoffman

4. “An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.” – Henry David Thoreau

5. “I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.” – Benjamin Franklin

6. “Every morning, I wake up saying, ‘I’m still alive, a miracle.’ And so I keep on pushing.” — Jim Carrey

7. “If you’re changing the world, you’re working on important things. You’re excited to get up in the morning.” – Larry Page

8. “When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive, to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” – Marcus Aurelius

9. “I like freedom. I wake up in the morning and say, ‘I don’t know, should I have a popsicle or a donut?’ You know, who knows?” – Oscar Nunez

10. “Smile in the mirror. Do that every morning and you’ll start to see a big difference in your life.” – Yoko Ono

11. “Some people dream of success, while other people get up every morning and make it happen.” – Wayne Huizenga

12. “Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.” – Ursula K. Le Guin

13. “I used to love night best but the older I get the more treasures and hope and joy I find in mornings.” – Terri Guillemets

14. “Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.” – Lemony Snicket

15. “It is in the early morning hour that the unseen is seen, and that the far-off beauty and glory, vanquishing all their vagueness, move down upon us till they stand clear as crystal close over against the soul.” – Sarah Smiley

16. “Everyone has highs and lows that they have to learn from, but every morning I start off with a good head on my shoulders, saying to myself, ‘It’s going to be a good day!” – Lindsay Lohan

17. “I’m always thinking about creating. My future starts when I wake up every morning. Every day I find something creative to do with my life.” – Miles Davis

18. “Lose an hour in the morning, and you will spend all day looking for it.” – Richard Whately

19. “Now that your eyes are open, make the sun jealous with your burning passion to start the day. Make the sun jealous or stay in bed.” – Malak El Halabi

20. “First thing every morning before you arise say out loud, ‘I believe,’ three times.” – Ovid

21. “I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.” – Larry King

22. “I wake up laughing. Yes, I wake up in the morning and there I am just laughing my head off.” – Bruce Willis

23. “When I wake up in the morning, I feel like a billionaire without paying taxes.” – Ernie Banks

24. “If you get up in the morning and think the future is going to be better, it is a bright day. Otherwise, it’s not.” – Elon Musk

25. “Every morning was a cheerful invitation to make my life of equal simplicity, and I may say innocence, with Nature herself.” – Henry David Thoreau

26. “In these times you have to be an optimist to open your eyes when you awake in the morning.” – Carl Sandburg

27. “I like to work in the morning. I like to sometimes go to a place where I’m all alone where I’m not going to get a phone call early that hurts my feelings, because once my feelings are hurt, I’m dead in the water.” – Francis Ford Coppola

28. “Something special awaits you each day. All you need is to recognize it and make the most of it. Have a positive attitude throughout the day and then that today is going to be the best day of your life.” — Anonymous

29. “You know that feeling when you wake up in the morning and you’re excited for the day? That’s one of my main goals in life.” – Kirsten Dunst

30. “I learned to love myself, because I sleep with myself every night and I wake up with myself every morning, and if I don’t like myself, there’s no reason to even live the life.” – Gabourey Sidibe

31. “I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world.” – E. B. White

32. “One key to success is to have lunch at the time of day most people have breakfast.” – Robert Brault

33. “I wake up in the morning and my heart is light, man. It’s not heavy. I don’t have skeletons in the closet on their way out.” – Drake

34. “Every morning, my dad would have me looking in the mirror and repeat: “Today is going to be a great day; I can, and I will.” – Gina Rodriguez

35. “The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep.” – Rumi

36. “With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

37. “I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.” – J. B. Priestley

38. “What is love? It is the morning and the evening star.” – Sinclair Lewis

39. “Morning without you is a dwindled dawn.” – Emily Dickinson

40. “For each new morning let there be flow of love. Let there be light of happiness in every direction.” – Amit Ray

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Comments and Suggestions

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